Undoing
by the-lady-of-mist-haven
Summary: Post 5x04 fic. Emma is no longer the DO but she has hard time dealing with her wrong doings. Killian is there to help. Bday gift for Mona001.


Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT.

AN: A big, even enormous thank you for betaing goes to captain-k-jones and amagicalship. I struggled with a massive Writers Block before I could write this.

When everything was over she just couldn't find her place. She avoided Granny's - the dwarfs were there too often. She couldn't, wouldn't face her parents, or Regina, or even Henry... Though, Henry was the most understanding of the whole bunch. It was Henry who pulled Killian aside to whisper something into his ear. Then he pulled her into a hug, his arms tight around her waist, and told her that she needed to take care of herself, that everything else could wait. It was Henry who told her to go with Killian and Henry who put their overwhelming family in line when they protested. So Killian took her hand in his and she went with him absentmindedly, hoping she would find peace wherever he was taking her.

Lost in her own thoughts, she had not realized where they were until she almost tripped over the threshold. She stopped dead in her tracks, like a wounded animal. He'd brought her to the Jolly Roger, to the captain's quarters. That room. It brought back too many memories. She shut her eyes, desperately trying to chase the images away. To not think about how she had hurt him here or how he had hurt her in return. She felt her chin shaking as tears stung beneath her eyelids. She couldn't be there, wouldn't…

"Emma." His husky whisper sent a shiver down her spine as he took her in his arm. "Don't do this to yourself love." She opened her eyes as he ran his hand up and down her leather clad back. His blue depths held warmth in them. Warmth and concern.

Looking at him, she tried to smile through tears but the moment her lips parted she let out a broken sob. She shut her eyes in an instant and let him slide his arms around her frame. He held her close, running his hand through her hair. It was gold and free again, falling down her back in soft waves.

"I've got you Emma." His soft whisper against her temple. Tears that fell down freely now as she buried her face in Killian's chest. Pained whimpers escaped her trembling lips as he rocked her back and forth while whispering comforting words in her hair. "Everything is going to be all right. Everything is going to be just fine." His lips were a ghost on her forehead.

He was the only one who made her feel safe. In his arms, she was able to let her walls fall, to let herself cry for what she become, for the villainous things she had done, for the suffering she had caused.

Emma didn't know how long they stood there. Time seemed to be irrelevant. The only thing that mattered were his arms around her. Slowly, as her tears dried, her sobs becoming less frequent. She pulled away from him after a while, but he did not let her go, his hooked arm still resting around her waist.

"Sorry." She felt a blush rising on her cheeks when she noticed the state his shirt was in. It was completely drenched in the place where her head rested.

Killian smiled softly at her, his eyes twinkling.

"It's quite alright love. You can ruin my shirts whenever you like."

Feeling the corner of her lips rise up, she hit him playfully on his chest. He gasped, feigning hurt and for the moment everything seemed to be just fine, just like in the old days. But then her gaze lingered on the old battered table in the middle of the captain's quarters. The same table, she'd mocked their first date at. The same on where she tried to play him, manipulate him using her soft pink dress. Where they both broke each other's hearts.

Emma took in a sharp breath. Pain wracked her heart, she wanted to run, to forget the hurt in his eyes, the trembling of his voice. She shook her head, her whole body stiffening as it got ready to run. She did not belong here. She didn't have the right to be here. She didn't deserve him, didn't deserve his forgiveness. A swallowed sob escaped her lips again as fresh tears fell down her cheeks.

Emma felt his warm hand covering her own. It's comforting warmth surrounded her again as he squeezed her trembling fingers.

"Don't do this to yourself love." She heard his gravely whispers. "Don't dwell in misery. What's done is done. You need to look to the future."

Emma nodded her head. She knew he was right but knowing did not make her feelings disappear, didn't make her hate for herself disappear. She wanted to rip out her own heart, to stop these overwhelming feelings.

Her legs shook and, for a second, she feared they would collapse but Killian… Oh the always present Killian steadied her, tightening his hold around her waist. He searched her eyes and just knew. Knew how exhausted she was, both emotionally and physically. Placing his right arm under her knees, she let out a surprised squeak as he picked her up. Emma was not some damsel in distress, she did not need to be carried. Except, tonight she might let it slip, tonight she needed his gallantry. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she put her arms around his neck and pressed her nose into his collarbone, inhaling his scent. He smelled of rum and leather, of home, of safety.

"You need rest love," he said placing her on top of his bunk and sitting next to her. She intertwined her fingers around his neck, refusing to let him go.

"No! Please don't go." She hated to sound so weak, so vulnerable. She couldn't, wouldn't let him leave, too scared he might disappear, too scared she would be left alone with her fears. Fears that would turn her dreams to nightmares. Villains did not deserve happy endings and she... She was a villain.

"Emma?" His voice was soft as he reached his hand up to her joined ones delicately. "I'm not going anywhere love." His lean fingers started to separate her clutched ones. Freeing himself from her grip, he placed her hands on her knees. Slowly, he reached for her leather clad legs and pushed them off his own knees. "I'm just going to help you lay down, aye?" Emma nodded her head as she watched him slipping from the bunk to the floor. He was not going anywhere. He was going to stay with her. She needed to calm down. Everything was going to be just fine.

Reaching out for her boot, Killian gave her a small encouraging smile. He propped her ankle against his hook as his slim fingers caught the zipper. Slowly, he started to pull it down. The unzipping sound filled the otherwise silent cabin and she found herself breathing hard. He grabbed the heel and pulled the boot off. It clicked against the hardwood floor, even though he put it away very carefully. When he reached for the second boot, her heart started to beat madly. Removing footwear shouldn't do things like this to her. Yet it did.

Smiling lovingly at her, he rubbed her toes with his palm. It sent a shiver down her spine, causing her to tremble beneath his fingers. His eyes dulled, concern flashing in them. Strangely enough, even though she was supposed to be an open book for him, he took her shivers as a sign of exhaustion, because soon enough he was helping her to put her feet up on the bunk.

Sitting on the red quilt beside her, he reached out for the zipper of her extravagant leather jacket. She inhaled sharply as he started to pull the tab down. His eyes shot up to meet her gaze.

"Are you alright love?" He frowned in concern, his hand letting go of the half undone zipper.

Emma shook her head slightly trying to get rid of the fire his touch had ignited in her veins. What was she thinking, he was only trying to help and she… she thought he was going to… _Get a grip Emma!_

"I'm ok." The words leaving her lips were shaky at best and, judging by his probing look, he didn't buy it. _Open book indeed_. Of course he knew she was not ok.

Smiling softly, she put her hand to his cheek, traced her thumb against his scruff. Killian's eyelids fluttered and he leaned into her caress, letting out a small sigh. God, she missed this. She missed him being so… open with her.

"I'm ok," she said in a stronger voice. "It's just…" His hand covered hers as he opened his eyes to look at her. Trying to find the right words, she bit her lip. "This place brings back memories… bad memories…" He opened his mouth as if he wanted to argue but she only shook her head to stop him. "I ruined everything. I ruined our love." The tears were back, falling down her cheeks again.

His arms were around her in an instant, pulling her closely to him.

"You didn't." His husky whisper tickled her temple before he placed a kiss there. "That wasn't you love." He kissed her forehead while pushing a golden lock behind her ear. The look in his eyes… it made her feel beautiful, worthy even. "That was the Dark One, but she's gone now. " He moved closer to her. "There is only Emma here." As his forehead touched hers, he bumped his nose against her. "Only you here." His fingers brushed away a lock of hair, plastered against her wet cheek. "As for the memories…" His eyes were the purest blue she had ever seen. "We can always make new ones."

He took one look at her and knew, just knew what to say to make her feel better, to chase the nightmares away. "I love you, Emma," he whispered huskily. "Nothing can ever change that." Her heart flipped at his words. Feeling the tears gathering in her eyes fall again, she grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled his lips to hers. Kissing him was like coming home. _He was her home,_ she thought as she tilted her head to open her mouth beneath his. He pulled away, surprise shining in his eyes.

"Emma?" The question in his gaze reminded her of that time in Merlin's Tower. When she threw herself at him in seek of relief and comfort.

"Please." She was desperate, desperate to forget. "I need you…" She swallowed hard, trying to find the right words. "Help me…" She put her palm to his scruffy cheek again. "Help me to forget… Help me to heal."

Understanding flashed in his eyes, before he dipped down his head to give her exactly what she wanted, what she needed. He brushed his lips against hers in a soft caress, butterfly kisses he knew she loved so much. She sighed into his mouth, tasting the sweetness of rum on his breath.

He was taking things slow, waiting for her lead as always and she was grateful for that. Grateful that he left her a way out just in case she changed her mind. She wouldn't though. Instead she grabbed his hand and guided it to the zipper of her jacket. Breaking the kiss to look into his eyes, she curled his fingers around the pull tab. Killian shivered beneath her touch. He was breathing heavily when she guided his hand with her own, pulling the zipper down as her eyes never left his. His gaze was dark and hot beneath his ridiculously long eyelashes and he looked flushed as his breath tickled her nose. The tips of his elvish ears were the same color as his cheeks.

When the work was done, she shook off the jacket and reached to pull him to her. He moved towards her and she threw her leg over his to sit even closer to him before leaning to capture his lips with hers. His eyelashes fluttered closed seconds before she kissed him again. His mouth opened beneath hers as he tilted his head and traced his tongue along her bottom lip in that delicious way that always made her gasp in pleasure. With his hooked arm, he pulled her closer to him and deepened the kiss with a slight groan. His fingers absentmindedly brushed against the hem of her tank top, making her shiver beneath his touch.

Her hands moved on their own accord to his shoulders, under the collar of his jacket to push it off in one swift move. Never breaking the kiss, he shook the garment off and let out a deep groan when she reached for the buttons of his vest. Her fingers tumbled with the small buttons. How the hell did he manage to unbutton them one handed when she had trouble with two? She almost cursed under her breath in frustration but then he pulled her hair away from her neck with his hook and his mouth left hers to brush the now exposed skin. His lips ghosted over her sensitive flesh, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses in their wake. Closing her eyes in anticipation, she tilted her head to the side to give him better access. When the tip of his tongue brushed against her collarbone, she let out a breathy moan.

She felt Killian smiling against her shoulder before he pulled the strap of her tank top down. His scruff left a pleasant burn as he skimmed over the part of her skin that was previously covered by the dark cotton. White-hot desire rushed through her veins and she had to push him away for a second to recover. The vest was undone but she needed to get him out of that shirt before she would lose herself in his touch completely. She needed it off.

He shot her a confused look as she started to unbutton his shirt with trembling fingers. When the last button was undone, she pushed the edges apart to run her palms down his sculptured chest. The dark wavy hair felt soft beneath her fingertips. She felt him shiver and then... his lips were on hers again, kissing her with a feverish passion.

Emma whimpered into his mouth as she pushed the shirt off his shoulders. Killian broke the kiss to help her take the shirt off in one swift move. Winding his good arm around her waist he pulled her closer to him.

"I am never letting you go, Emma…" He placed a kiss against the corner of her lips. "Never." Desperate kisses fell against her cheek as he slid his hand beneath the hem of her top, tracing light patterns on her back with his thumb.

Her trembling fingers unbuckled the straps holding his brace in its place. When she finally took it off, she felt him grabbing the material of her top. Too impatient to wait she helped him take it off, pulling it quickly over her head. The hungry look in his eyes proved her choice to forgo a bra had been a good one.

"You are so beautiful." His fingers brushed against her breast in the lightest of caresses but she was done waiting. Winding her hands in his hair, she laid back on the red quilt and pulled him with her. Her lips caught his the exact moment her head hit the pillow. She used the fingers in his hair as leverage, moving his head to the side and deepening the kiss. Killian let out a gravelly moan at her actions. He sounded totally wrecked and it made her heart hammer against her ribcage like she had just run a marathon.

His lean frame was situated just perfectly between her legs, sending a delicious heat wave through her center with the slightest move. She shivered beneath him as his fingertips traced a path down her neck and shoulder, brushing the side of her breast and over the curve of her hip. Never breaking the kiss, he hooked his thumb in the waistband of her underwear and started to slowly pull them, as well as her leggings, down.

 _Too slowly._

Lifting her hips up, she broke the kiss to slide the garments off her legs. She felt his hot breath against her collarbone and, by the stiffness of his body, she could tell he was trying to refrain himself from losing control. Only she wanted him to lose control.

She bit his earlobe as her hand worked frantically to open the belt buckle of his jeans. When her nails brushed against his abdomen, he let out a throaty moan. It made her more focused somehow, more grounded. Pulling the zipper down, she unbuttoned his jeans really fast. He hissed when her fingertips brushed his hardness. Smirking gleefully at the effect her touch had on him, she pushed her hands down over his hips and under the waistband of his boxers briefs. His eyes fluttered shut and he bit his bottom lip as she smoothed her palms over his buttocks, pushing them down. Killian lifted himself up to shake the jeans off and by the sound of a loud thud she knew he had gotten rid of his shoes too.

He crawled over her, his eyes dark and pupils dilated as he took her in. He looked at her as if he could use his eyes to kiss her. She felt like a goddess under his gaze, worshipped and beautiful. Trying to encourage him to move and actually do something other than stare as he hovered over her, she ran her foot up and down his calf. He trembled at her actions, which made her smile before she anchored her legs around his hips and pulled him on top of her. He chuckled, letting her guide him where she needed him. Emma's breath caught in her throat as his hard length brushed against her core. His tip teased her entrance, his eyes wide, breath heavy as he waited for her to make the first move.

She felt tears pricking her eyes. He had always put her first. She reached out for him, tangling her hands in his hair and guiding his lips to hers. She knew he wanted to take things slow to treasure the moment, to worship her, but there would be a time for that later. Now, she just needed him to be with her to undo all the bad memories, to undo her.

As his mouth brushed against hers she tightened the hold of her legs around his waist, helping him slide into her folds. He complied with her wishes, filing her deliciously. She had never felt so whole before. Killian shuddered as his length slid all the way home, and she knew he felt the same way. _Open book_ after all.

His tongue traced her bottom lip, begging her to open her mouth to his. A plea to which she happily responded to, loosening the hold of her legs around his waist. He kissed her lazily for a while as if he was just enjoying the feel of her around him. She sighed contentedly as he begun the brush his hand down her hip. He hooked her leg around his hip once more and bit on her bottom lip sending a shudder through her.

"Killian," she whimpered as he laid open mouthed kissed down her throat and to her breasts. He dragged his teeth over her nipple, sucking on it when she let out a pained gasp. Seeking some friction, she lifted her hips up. His chuckle quickly turned into a breathy moan when her movements caused him to move within her. "Please move!"

He quickly obliged, thrusting into her, stretching her in just the perfect way. She dragged her nails against his scarred back. Pulling him even closer, she whispered against his ear to go faster. They moved together frantically, his chest hair leaving a pleasant burn against her chest with every move. Sweat started to trickle down the valley between her breasts, the air getting hotter. The cool metal of his charms contrasted heavily with the warmth of his body against her skin.

His eyes were dark as he moved above her, grinding, thrusting, sliding in and out. She let out a moan when he slid even deeper than before and his lips were on hers instantly. He tangled his fingers into her locks and pulled her head closer to him. Her hands moved from his back to his bottom, squeezing his buttocks as she guided him to move faster. Letting go of her lips, he traced her neck with open mouthed kisses, nibbling on her collar bone. She let her hands and mouth wander all over his body, all over wherever she could reach. She wanted him, all of him. Every scar, every hair, every inch of his body, every piece of his soul.

Every touch of his lips against her skin, every caress of his hand, took her higher and higher. Every kiss, every touch undid the bad memories that lingered in the cabin of his ship. He wound his arm under her waist, moving her higher against the bunk and changing his angle a little so that with his next thrust he hit her sweet spot in just the right way and she saw stars beneath her closed eyelids. She curled her toes catching the red quilt underneath her body and sucked on his bottom lip. Feeling the tension building higher and higher she lifted up her hips to meet his thrusts. She gasped into his mouth and her walls fluttered around him, sending them both over the edge. Flying. She felt as if she was flying, free and lightweight. This was heaven. She opened her eyes to look at him as he let out a groan before he stilled above her. The room seemed brighter and there was so much affection shining in his eyes, she almost felt like crying. She smoothed his hair from his forehead and took his face into her palms.

"I love you." His eyes shone with happiness at her words as he bumped his nose against hers.

"I love you too."

Later when he ran his hand up and down her back as she laid content and boneless in his arms, Emma decided that she liked making new memories. Happy memories that one day might be able to dull the bad ones. Ones that would help her to heal as many wounds as possible, to undo a the very least some parts of the past. It would not be easy. Fighting for good things never was but Killian was right here beside her and she knew he would not let her fail. She snuggled closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder. She felt so safe in his arms and when Killian placed a soft kiss on top of her head while caressing the naked skin of her hip, she felt optimistic again. Maybe there was still a chance for a happy ending for them.


End file.
